Quote Post #21

[damned_quotes]

Sorry about the lateness all. I got sick right around when it was time to put this up, and pushed it back til now.


He tried not to think on it too hard. Either he got his ass handed to him or he didn't. The goal was to learn something. He could consider it raising his stats to level up. Gaining experience. Just with more pain and less unlocking of higher level magical items.

- Matt (whohitreset) [http://community.livejournal.com/damned/491629.html]



Reno was saying something but, hell, Rude wasn't gonna sit and decipher this guys shit. He moved over and smiled down to Reno. Oh the things he could do right now. The power. But he didn't want to waste tonight, so he leaned in and frowned a little.

"Got something on your face," he said, reaching out towards it, a pen in hand. He'd written 'PEN' across Reno's forehead by the time the guy caught on. There was a brief and weak struggle and Rude sighed. It kinda almost looked like the complete word. It'd do anyway, since Reno still seemed quite capable of kicking out at him.

"Sweet dreams! We'll bring you back a souvenier," he grinned, walking out the door.
-Rude (silent_shades) [http://community.livejournal.com/damned/487656.html?thread=40049384#t40049384]



"Yeah. Let's give it another go." Matt took up the same stance as before, though he wasn't nearly as focused as he had been (as much as he tried).

He was being played like a harp. No, not even a harp - more like one of those player pianos that worked by itself when you stuck a coin into it. Matt knew this, and yet Holy God those eyes.

She was too hot to be a prostitute, he decided. Not that he was all that well informed on what a prostitute should look like. It was possible she was one of those ones that only the rich could afford because of their beauty and how well they knew how to...

Something dripped off the edge of Matt's upper lip and he glanced down at his hand to see a speck of red. The young man's eyes widened and he quickly wiped the short trail of blood from his nose away with his thumb. Kenshin was going to swing and he'd already been embarrassed enough tonight!

- Matt (whohitreset) [here]



When Near spoke, however, the humor was slowly forced out of him. Unfortunately, Mello's rival had this effect on people. "End up how?" he asked, trying to keep his tone lighthearted. "Ruggishly handsome with a brilliant taste in fashion? No, I doubt he planned that. Too much of a challenge to his queer leather flare."

- Matt (whohitreset) [here]



Ugh, that felt good. In the "yes, you clearly deserved that and it is a god-send to get it out of the way, you ignorant bastard", not the "oh god, I do believe I've shattered my knuckles doing that, dear lord it hurts, you wouldn't think it would pain me so" that he was literally feeling.
-Luxord (clockmongler) [http://community.livejournal.com/damned/510881.html?thread=41275809#t41275809]
Submitted twice!



Although, some part of him tried to remind him, he really should be spending his time trying to find a way to return to his normal body and an escape from this place rather than spending his nights in the company of humans. On the other hand, he had been waiting more than twenty years for some of the opportunities presented to him here, and surely he'd earned some time spent embracing a human or two. Or three. Or as many as he could get.

- ZEX (wantsyourzex) [here]



"Tell you what. Why don't you fly over there and squish the killer zombie squirrels, since you've got a lot more power than I do, an' once they're out of the way I'll be perfectly willing to go back that way. But me getting eaten by things like that? No way."

It was rather strange to think that she was so adamant about him going back the way he came. Was there a particular reason for that? Some kind of really stupid mental block that turned people into drooling "GOOOOOO BAAAAAAACK" zombies or something? Huh, he'd have to think about that. Most important thing? It was obvious that she was just as adamant he go back to his room. Interesting little tidbit there.
-Xigbar (numberii) [here]



Something spooked Phoenix; he looked like an intern who'd just stepped in toxic sludge, except he didn't seem likely to add his half-digested dinner to the situation. Whatever it was had freaked out a guy who had been pretty blasé about describing giant scorpions. So S.T. turned his flashlight away from the door and opened it slowly, peeking out.

A teenage kid and a guy about his age were having a barroom brawl with the lovechild of a capybara and a Public Garden squirrel. Mean, hungry, and brainless. Both dudes looked like they knew how to handle themselves in a fight, too. As he stared, Boy Wonder flung a flashlight at it, and Big Guy shrieked like a little girl before dodging like a running back on methamphetamines. He eased the door shut, not even stopping to take a whiff and see if he could get any more data on their whereabouts from the atmosphere.

"Okay, you win that one. Damn convincing." After what he'd heard, if he'd seen a giant bug, he could chalk it up to his subconscious and some B-movie reruns. But a giant carnivorous squirrel? That didn't even make sense.

He'd also just seen two guys getting their asses whipped by that giant squirrel.
- S.T. (toxicspiderman) [here]



Okay. Time to make this the simplest crazy-person story that I can manage. Nothing too impossible. Now, which first? Monsters or defiance of time and space? In the end, he decided on monsters. There were probably places in South America that weren't strangers to super-sized arachnids. He couldn't say the same for time travel.
-Pheonix Wright (pleading_ngri) [here]



Stopping in the new hallway, he looked left and right and sighed. Still no sign of him. Clasping his hands together, he tried one last trick to bring Will out. "God in Heaven, if you can hear me, be a doll and drop an elephant on that supervisor of mine? Much appreciated."

....

Still nothing. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he went left toward the door. Something definitely wasn't right.
-Grell (deadly_juliet) [here]



"Looking at Fai's injury at first, she could barely even see it, but those bites could only mean one thing. "...You got attacked by a chupacabra?" She thought they only went after goats, but with the way the institute worked Fai could be a goat in human form. Despite her words, she was still worried. "They drink blood." "
- Orihime Inoue (simpleastherain) [here]



He couldn't even think of the last time the US got lumped in with South America like they were some kind of inconvenience to England - Canada didn't even count, they were just there.
-Brock (blacksustenance) [here]



Was it a cheap shot, attacking a man who was on the ground and on fire? Yes. Was it a good move, tactically? Absolutely.
-Leon Magnus (for_marian) [here]



Also Aidou was liable to catch stupid through Naruto's blood.
-Sasuke (sasuke_of_sound) [here]

Submitted Twice



And aside from that, Orihime realized that Renamon was no longer looking angry and uncomfortable. In fact, they were getting along pretty well. Jiraiya was really good at this. And the way Renamon had smirked at him they'd make a really --

"Huh?" Orihime blinked.
- Orihime (simpleastherain) [here]



"An image flashed through Mello's mind: teenagers with anime wall hangings and huge collections of plastic figurines, bookshelves full of manga and every single game available for the dreamcast. The type of people who ate pocky and said kawaii. Matt's friends, if Matt had had friends aside from himself and Final Fantasy, which Mello knew he did not. Was that Landel? Some grown up otaku? Manga-readers could be dangerous, he thought, remembering B. Tended to lose their grip on reality."
- Mello (cnflctofintrst) [here]
Submitted twice!



"... About Nami, Zoro and Sanji were missing for weeks. So it could be a long time. We just have to be patient. Which... is easy, because we're patients?"
-Usopp (usoppsenchou) [here]



It didn't really matter either way, two babes or one he could handle it. "You just going to sit over there and watch? I know I look good but I'm even better up close," he said winking cockily.

"What are you doing?" he hissed, giving the horny moron a sharp jab in the ribs. "You don't even know what that thing is!"

"It's a girl, geez! You do know what they are right? They're really not that scary."

"No, it's girl-shaped. There's a difference!" Realizing that Captain Hormones wasn't going to see reason, Teisel crossed his arms, glaring warily at the "girl" and wondering why he never seemed to run into anyone sane around here. "Last I checked," he grumbled, "squirrels weren't that scary, either."
-Superboy (gottabetactile) & Teisel (no_barbarian) [here]



"That single irritant probably would have tainted all future interactions with Mello if it wasn't for what he said next. New Jersey? They were in New Jersey?!

Fuck, that put things into perspective."
-Johnny C. (ienvyroaches) [here]



"I was trained by an international detective force," he finally said. Or a crazy British orphanage. Same difference.
- Mello (cnflctofintrst) [here]



Speaking of looking, Kaiji finally let himself get a look at his would-be killer. He couldn't help but make a baffled expression.

"Your-" No, no, the pot was too intimidated by the kettle to call it black this time. "You're right," Kaiji answered as he directed his eyes to the ground, trying to hide the fact that the other guy's facial features were weird as hell to him.

No wonder he was so edgy. The poor guy must've never heard the end of it with a nose like that.

Kaku caught the look Kaiji gave him, but wasn't going to say anything if Kaiji wasn't. Besides, the guy probably knew what it was like, since it looked like his face could double as a sundial. But that wasn't important.
-Kaiji (missedfortunes) & Kaku (not_a_herbivore) [here]



"Of course you would make a bizarre death trap Institute," said Danny sourly. "You already have a house out in the Rockies just so you can steal my mom!"

"Don't be silly, I didn't build the chalet just to woo your mother. That would be impractical." Vlad raised his eyebrows at the suggestion. "It was simply convenient for that purpose as well..."

"And anyhow, if I made a 'bizarre death trap Institute,' I would design better uniforms for it." Maybe something with a stylized V.
-Danny Phantom (notaghostreally) & Vlad (vladville) [here]



Looking over some more, he saw another girl, wielding...

A really, really great hammer. Usopp paused, staring at it, forgetting the potential threat for the moment in admiration. He thought of his own little hammer, tucked at his waist, and wished for a moment he'd had time and resources to build a new Usopp Pound.

"Shiny hammer."
-Usopp (usoppsenchou) [here]



"All food can be delicious." She may have been a bit biased because of how relatively new she was to taste, but it was still an honest opinion for her. "It all depends on how you -- "

GLaDOS was cut short as she watched Dante suddenly reach across the table with his fork. His fork, which was headed for her cake. Her cake. Her cake. Her cake.

HER. CAKE.

In an instant - as soon as his fork plunged into one slice of hers - GLaDOS had whipped her own fork out of the food and slammed it against the back of his hand. Because of the weak, faulty metal the fork was made out of, it didn't do the damage she'd wanted. She had intended for it to go in one side and come out the other, crippling him for the rest of his life as tendons were scored and snapped and bones were cracked. What actually happened was that the fork went in a few fractions of an inch before all but bending and scoring off his hand.

There was blood, but it wasn't enough.

"Don't touch my cake," she said, her voice slightly lower and much more murderously focused. "If you try to take my cake, I will kill you. I will take this fork and I will put it in your eye socket, and once the eyeball has popped it will slide up into your brain. I will stab it in as far as I can, and then I will twist, and I will yank out a chunk of your brain."

She paused to take a breath.

"And that would be very unfortunate, because you seem like a very healthy human subject. So don't touch my cake."
-GLaDOS (2cuprhubarb) [here]



"Sanosuke might have started pouting a little himself then, except it wasn't a pout so much as it was an appropriately masculine expression that looked remarkably like a pout."
- Sanosuke (damnrudecock) [here]



Even if it would be the dead disrespecting the dead, he wasn't poking bleeding snow!
-Brook (promisedawhale) [here]



"The snow doesn't need to be apologized to! In fact, it should have apologized to us, for being so creepy and bleeding for no good reason!"
-Usopp (usoppsenchou) [here]



"The toast purported to be French. He'd never seen toast like that before he'd arrived here. He suspected Sir Percy was more French; at least he'd been to France."
- Armand (secret_orchard) [here]



"Before this place?" Mello had a feeling this inspection was not going to go very well at all. "Uh. A lot of different things. Probably not the healthiest diet." He wasn't even going to try to justify a food pyramid built by Cadbury.
-Mello (cnflctofintrst), [here]



" A crazy head doctor making people fight experiments? Really?

It was almost as ridiculous as a secret criminal organization that no one's heard of using an eighteen year old girl to develop an untraceable poison that had the unfortunate side effect of turning its victims into small children. Go figure."
- Shinichi Kudou, (meitantei) [here]



"This isn't the kind of place you'd expect to pick up responsibilities, but I know what you mean. I don't think I've ever sympathized with the L.A.P.D. this much. "To protect and serve. Or maybe beat with a big stick. Depends on the circumstance, I guess."
- Phoenix Wright (pleading_ngri) [here]



"Yeah, missin' a few screws and 'is screwdriver. Fuck that, his whole tool shed is out to lunch."
- Heiji (osakapwnzu), about Dr. Landel. [here]



Oh no, want the truth, sure you do, II~ This was why he never said it because he'd be called a whiny girl for anything negative and it would be brought up at every instance that he refused to speak truthfully afterwards. It was precisely the same as how he'd come to terms with finding the other a bit more attractive than as a friend, and II just instantly went and whored himself to everyone in a ten mile radius, most of the time right in front of X's eyes until he simply gave up out of pure futility of trying to win a game that took pleasure in mocking him. And then, once he decided to stay friends as they always had, II went and hopped around with Zelnick at every interval to talk about space and guns and cookies and plays that were supposed to just be between X and II, over and over and over and now, now! When X wasn't even making a pretense of being sad about leaving the ungrateful idiot behind, Xigbar was calling him, HIM, over dramatic because he was telling the truth to someone who wouldn't berate him for it.

Oh, he didn't even try to stop his fist from speeding towards the other Nobody's face.
- Luxord (clockmongler) [here]



Dean got he fooled around a lot on the side, slept around with a lot of chicks, many of whom he couldn't remember their names if the world depended on it, and maybe he'd done a little experimenting he probably shouldn't have with girls he shouldn't have in dives he should've steered clear of. But this? This was pretty ridiculous. Like he'd pissed someone off and this was payback for all the lies, all the scams and never calling all the Julia's/Amy's/What'sHerName's he promised back.
- Dean Winchester (theroadsofar_) [here]



It's not as if there was a better way to plan this, though. "Yeah, meet me by the lockers. I'll be wearing gray and a smiley face, just like about a hundred other guys."
-Phoenix Wright (pleading_ngri)[here]



Today's conversation topics -- asylum slang and shiv-making 101. Grandma would be so proud.
-Phoenix Wright (pleading_ngri) [here]



Twenty-one. It was an appropriate number for Kaiji, wasn't it? The number of dots on a cubic die, the number required to win blackjack, and the entirely coincidental number that he had the misfortune of getting permanently burned into his skin with a hot iron.
-Kaiji (missedfortunes) [here]



Rude's eyes did a quick scan for Reno but to no avail. Good thing or bad? You could never tell. They were used to each other, but the towel whipping could easily get out of hand. Especially around this much testosterone.
-Rude (silent_shades) [here]



Before his mind could wonder much further in that direction - IwillnotpicturehimnakedIwillnotpicturehimnake-- wait he's already naked. Fuuuck. Cannot unsee pancake sex.

--

"You two should really sit down with Dr. Phil and talk about your feelings or something."
-Badou (cigarettes_plz) [here]
Submitted twice!



Well ok, that only worked out in the most dysfunctional way Badou could possibly imagine. Now that they were best friends for life again, he should probably be going since he didn't really want to be caught up in between them when they weren't trying to kill eachother. He had a bad feeling about it. Like shower-rape-would-be-lucky kind of bad.

"Wait, guys, I have a plan." Badou said seriously, washing the last of the soap away and trying not to look hurried. Sort of the same way Luxord was trying not to nurse his hand. "You two can do your bonding thing, and I'll not be here."
-Badou (cigarettes_plz) [here]



…Balls. The sleep-deprived guy from last night was right. Billy also apparently owed him a dessert now, or something like that.
-Dr. Horrible (horribology) [here]



Something in the back of Kaiji's mind was working at the thought that some of the people here really were certifiably insane. The way Usopp leaned was a little unsettling - Kaiji felt that if he said the wrong thing, Usopp might dive across the table and stab his eye out with that nose of his. Considering its length, this kid wouldn't have to cover that much distance to get there and it would be all over. He couldn't help but be a bit relieved when he backed off a bit.

Kaiji really didn't need to get more similarities to Badou over a conversation about noses.

"I didn't get a good look at him," Kaiji admitted. It had been dark, after all, and he hadn't wanted to get totally mesmerized by that weird-ass nose so he avoided staring as much as possible. Nighttime was dangerous, and death by getting distracted by noses ranked pretty high up on the dumbass scale. "It wasn't the same though," He tried to think of a tactful way to describe the odd man from last night, "I don't know, it's weird as hell. Like a box."

Tactful indeed.

--

As much as he wanted to hide that fact, it was practically written in capital letters all over his face. A guy with a megaphone or a voice on the intercom may as well have been announcing it: 'Attention all patients and staff, Kaiji Ito is flipping his shit.'
-Kaiji (missedfortunes) [here]



Usopp wasn't so sure about the mental health of the person he was talking to, but wasn't going to point that out. After all, he probably came across as crazy to plenty of people, and he was just creative, that was all. It did sound like Kaiji had gone through some hard stuff even before showing up here, which would explain some of the scarring.

It didn't explain the grin, though.
-Usopp (usopp_senchou) [here]



The next time he got his hands on a pen, he was turning his partner's head into a cue ball. Complete with a pool cue to play it with.
-Reno (offduty) [here]



"Look, lady, I don't know what galaxy you're from, but the last time I checked? 'bots don't eat."
-Depth Charge (scalyfishman) [here]



As far as he was concerned, Danny had just allowed himself to be dressed up at the will of either a prankster or a kid who had no idea what gender roles were.
-Danny (notaghostreally) [here]



" ...all the while trying to ignore the awkward transition from 'howdy stranger, self-defense you say, great' to 'alright let me take off my pants real quick here.'"
- Phoenix Wright (pleading_ngri) [here]



If either of them had asked Badou, he would have told them Oprah was a viable option too.

As things were, the Jaws theme had just started playing in his head. Badtouch was imminent. And while just about every other part of Badou's brain had short circuited, his mouth was doing just fine. Probably better than usual without those pesky limitations like 'self-preservation' and 'common sense'.

He had sort of just stopped listening to what they were saying and started humming the Jaws theme because like hell his attention span was going to go that far when Old Man Eyepatch was making him the bitch. "Wha? I don't speak ponce. This really sucks. You're the first fags I've had in five days. I really need a smoke. I dunno if your world has them, but cigarettes. You know, little cylinders full of poison -" He glanced down at Luxord's endowments. "Bigger than Priscilla Jr. down there, usually."
-Badou (cigarettes_plz) [here]



"All this time wasted
Whining in measured meter -
Go take a Prozac."
-Schuldig (k4t4str0ph4l) [here]



"He glanced up with his eyes, but didn't lift his head considering he was in the middle of taking a chunk out of his burger. He studied the guy, chewing idly. Whoever he was, he looked kinda geeky which was actually a rarity around here. Eighty percent of the population seemed to be either fighters or chicks with eye-catching boobs. Or both."
- Reno (offduty) [here]



Miku wrinkled her nose in distaste, almost imagining that strange sour-sour-sour taste that gave way to sweet. "It's worse when it's a surprise attack on the tongue, though. I'm too polite to spit it out, so I just have to endure it."

- Miku Hinasaki (rope_victim) [here]



"What do they think you're going to do with tea and music anyway? Get slightly buzzed and preform a strip tease to Mozart?"

"No. God no. I have enough trouble showering considering the possibility that someone might be looking at me." Thank goodness Schuldig wasn't around, because now all he could think of was tossing his tie into a crowd full of Badou to Beethoven's 5th Symphony.

-Badou (cigarettes_plz) & Artemis (byname_bynature) [here]



Of course, he was going to need bleach to rid his brain of the mental image of Artemis playing Secret Bondage Mistress to his scalpel-throwing roommate. Artemis wasn't the only one who associated with some strange people.

"His master? That's...kinky." The redhead really did try not to look as disturbed as he felt. "Look, I'm not going to spread it across the bulletin board in 6ft glitter letters. For one thing, I ran out of glitter. But that kind of thing always gets out - and by then, it's too late for damage control. You're seriously some kind of pervert rage magnet aren't you?"

-Badou (cigarettes_plz) [here]



Beef hot dogs. Matt could appreciate that. Turkey or any other random assortment of meat in its place was an affront to the very nature of the item. Nothing took the place of a good beef hot dog.

Except everything else. Hot dogs in general weren't high on his list of favorite foods. He grabbed a hamburger.
-Matt (whohitreset) [here]



Regardless, unlike the famed hero, Grell really did need his glasses. It seemed that most of the death gods did, not that he knew why. He'd been made this way by God and God must have had a purpose for making them all wear glasses. Perhaps He had a fashion sense. Or a glasses fetish.

-Grell Sutcliff (deadlyjuliet) [here]



"Man, you guys have less tact than just about every robot I know."
"Tact is for the weak!"
"Apparently so's subtlety."
"So it is. Are you done stating the obvious, human?"
- Gaignun Kukai, Jr. (udo_retrovirus) and Blitzwing (lossofface) [here]



The big bright blinding text comes next. Be prepared.




O YE OF DELICATE EYES, DON'T LOOK AT THIS POST.
--Badou (cigarettes_plz) [http://community.livejournal.com/damned_bulletin/299742.html?thread=8914910#t8914910]



Booyah!

"Kaoru stared bewilderedly at his brother. So much for being the older one. What happened to bailing his little brother out?!

He stared back at the guy. Well. What's done is done.

"" he sang out loudly, grinning."

- Kaoru (hangenki) [http://community.livejournal.com/damned/483334.html?thread=39249926#t39249926]