Quote Post #47

[damned_quotes]

Porky Minch is a stupid fat pig and I hate him right back!!!

...Is Porky Minch Canadian for ham and cheese pizza?

- Scott Pilgrim (vsyourface) and Peter Parker (mustbethesuit) [here]

---

Don't worry Japan, if I ever get worried that something bad happened to you, I'll just quietly and politely ignore the situation and hope that it fixes itself. How's that?

- Russia (vodka_jump) [here]

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It isn't nice to be happy if someone is dead.

I wouldn't be happy if he died. I would be happy if he was weak and helpless and under the heel of my boot one with me. If he was dead it would be kind of strange.

One with

Oh, so that's how it is with you two.

Not just us two. Someday everyone will be one with me.

[There are quite a few false starts here. All very thoroughly scribbled out.]

Well, everyone has to have a hobby.

- Aino Minako (ai_no_minako) and Russia (vodka_jump) [here]

---

With that, the Pox-of-LeChuck-infested Guybrush doppelganger with two working hands reached into his pants and pulled out a sword as shadowy as he was. His pants worked. That was the worst part.

- Guybrush Threepwood (sheepwood) [here]

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"Crap!" She snatched it up and went after the lights with her usual battle cry. "Hii-ya!" It felt good to take out her aggression on something, even if it was lowly primitive light bulbs. Those light bulbs represented the evil oppressor! Or something.

- Turanga Leela (shorttank) [here]

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Actually, even if Mike wasn't from exactly 2007, it was still nice; it'd been a little weird trying to explain the concept of Ju-on to a girl with purple hair from the year 3004 while Ju-on was actually happening.

- Niikura Shou (oneman_onekill) [here]

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"Candy bar--Oh! Candy!" While he had been living with Bulma, her house had been full of those sweet things. A lot of them were just too sugary for his taste buds to handle. This yellow thing reminded him of peeling back a banana, except the inside looked shriveled and rotten or, more accurately, like an animal turd.

".........." He gave her a questioningly look, then went back to staring at the brown log of "candy". After holding it for so long, the tabby in his lap seemed happy to take the initiative, licking the end of it eagerly. Well, if the cat wasn't scared of it that meant it was perfectly edible, right? He took a bite and met some resistance as a sweet, sticky substance entered his mouth. Chewing was just as difficult. "Auhh, i' stah too mah tee!" It took a rigorous session of whining, kicking, chewing, and more whining before it finally went down his throat.

- Son Goku (boketa) [here]

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"So, the codes for these projects that us so-called patients are working on. What's the translation?" ... "I mean, I'm doubting they're finger-painting the hallways or hoping Sun Tzu's Art of War will help them overthrow the nurses."

- Ruby (thatdemonbitch) [here]

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So Dean hadn’t got a chance to crash Sam’s party yet.

That didn’t mean Operation: Kill Sam Winchester In His Sleep still wasn’t on table.

- Dean Winchester (theroadsofar) [here]

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Seriously, just how many people could end up thinking they were countries?

- Aino Minako (ai_no_minako) [here]

---

...the important part was telling the kid he wasn't crazy. Or he was a crazy axe-murderer from a world where villains had learned not to cackle during introductions, and S.T. had just added himself to the list of people who knew too much. He'd almost been killed by that at least three times. Occupational hazard.

- Sangamon Taylor (toxicspiderman) [here]

---

"Lightning, huh..." Zack smirked to himself as he thought of another weather-named person that he knew. "You know, I have a friend whose name would match with that perfectly. You should meet him sometime."

"Hmm... it's not 'Snow,' is it?"

"No, actually," he said once he'd recovered from that initial surprise. "It's Cloud. But wow, you guys should start a band or something, with names like that. It'd be pretty perfect. Just find a Rain and maybe a Sun, and you'll be set!"

- Zack (zack_fair) and Lightning (thestormishere) [here]

---

This had already been one of the scariest days of Chuck's life--right on up there with being confronted by his own characters and that one time his ex-almost-girlfriend's mom had (accidentally!) been on the receiving end of some of his more descriptive erotic IMs. First of all, he'd woken up in an asylum, literally a place out of his own worst nightmares, then been dragged into a cafeteria by a Nurse Ratched clone who looked like she wanted nothing so much as to horrifically humiliate him in any way she possibly could--a cafeteria filled with frightening (and very possibly actually insane) people all dressed in t-shirts with yellow smiley-face emoticons (Whoever dreamed up that detail had a really, really shitty sense of humor. Just saying). Second, in the cafeteria had been the Trickster. The same guy who had killed Dean dozens of times and then trapped the Winchesters in TV land for days and very probably could trap Chuck in Saw III, if he wanted. Chuck liked horror movies--he secretly thought they helped him with his own work, prophecy be damned--but horror stuff was for... his characters. Not him, and having a terrifying conversation-confrontation with an archangel who could blast him to smithereens if he felt like it and probably would have if Nurse Ratched hadn't shepherded him away with another of her large and toothy smiles wasn't his idea of an okay day.

- Chuck Shurley (godsajoke) [here]

---

If the girl's tone hadn't been so serious, Zack would have actually thought that she was joking with him. But she just kept looking at him as if waiting for an answer, and so he had to accept the fact that there was someone around here who was actually named Snow. Seriously, what was with this weather pattern in names? Next thing he knew, someone named Squall would be signing notes on the bulletin!

- Zack Fair (zack_fair) [here]

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Dear Badou 'Strapface' Nails:

It's been a while since anyone has smelled nicotine in the couch cushions. If you are here could you please resume whining loudly on the board like you used to? That would be great.

For EVERYBODY ELSE:

If you see a guy who looks like an anthropomorphic carrot with an eye patch, please let him know that it's not manly to hide under rocks whenever your friends pass by.

  - Snowflake

- Peter Parker (mustbethesuit) [here]

---

So did America die yet?

How horrid! Could you not think of a kinder way to ask? You must use more tact when addressing the public.

How else should I ask?

Dear America,

If it's not too much trouble, could you tell me if you've expired yet?

Regards,
Russia

- Russia (vodka_jump) and Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear (nobleobliged) [here]

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Humans.

What is 'normal'? For affection?

Licking not normal?

Or jumping on?

All licking and jumping's gonna get you is a spot reserved on the sex offender registration list. Might wanna shoot for a pat on the back or a hug first."

Sex . . . offender?

I am confused.
Do not understand?

- Amaterasu (divinebrushwork) and Ruby (thatdemonbitch) [here]

---

They come in slices? Landel wasn't even fucking trying any more. What the fuck? Either something was wrong, or he was bored. Either way, S.T. wasn't signing up to play Velveteen Rabbit. They'd all been real all along, even the ones straight out of kiddie books. They didn't need Landel ejaculating all over them on a video monitor somewhere to know they were alive.

- Sangamon Taylor (toxicspiderman) [here]

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One tray piled high with as many different kinds of pizza as he thought he could get away with (as well as a salad and a drink of juice) in hand, and he was ready for the task of finding a place to sit. Just like high school again, except with better food and everyone was being held captive in a sick institution designed to torture them.

So.. high school with better food.

- Wally West (scarletspeedstr) [here]

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His nurse wanted to roll her eyes. He could hear the desire in her sigh. "There's no panicking, Tyler."

"Well, Joyce, it sure looks like a panic to me."

Shoulders stiffened. The nurse bristled. "My name is Rachel."

"...See if you wore a nametag I would know that by now."

- Peter Parker (mustbethesuit) [here]